I was always afraid of women, not in a sissy way, but afraid to talk to them, specially if I liked them. I suppose you can say that the real fear was, and to some extent still is, the fear of rejection.
A friend of mine tells a story about his high school reunion, where he saw the girl he had a crush on, and finally confessed to her that he wanted to ask her out for the prom. but never gathered up enough courage to ask her. She sighed and said, “You and every other boy. Did you know that I never got asked for the prom? Any boy could have taken me to the prom.” Ouch!
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” — Wayne Gretzky
I am learning to add humor to my speeches, and at the recommendation of my mentor, Darren Lacroix, I am reading ”Stand-Up Comedy: The Book” by Judy Carter, and one thing she suggests to over come stage fright is to do something, anything, that you are afraid of, as often as possible.
A couple of weeks ago, a woman came into the restaurant where I was working wearing a t-shirt that read, “Kiss me, I’m Irish” After much internal struggle, I gave into the temptation, walked over to her table, and planted a kiss on her… cheek. No, the one on her face. Hey, overcoming fear is a hard business. She shrugged and said, “Well, I am wearing the t-shirt”
Since then, I had become less fearful talking to them. That was, until last Tuesday. This gorgeous forty-something woman walks into the restaurant with bright strawberry-blonde hair pulled back and tied in a neat braid, a flaming orange blouse and a tie dyed flowing skirt with white, orange and purple patterns that covered the entire length of her long legs, with no make up on. I was mesmerized, to say the least, and tried not to stare.
She had her young son with her, so I had an excuse to go over to her table and make a balloon creation for him, but I had to do everything I can not to stare. I kept working the restaurant as a balloon artist, making all kinds of things for the kids, but eyes kept drifting towards her.
Finally, I mustered up enough courage and walked up to her table and mumbled something like, “I don’t know how else to say this, so I am just going to come out and say it. You’re gorgeous, and your outfit just enhances you natural beauty.”
She smiled and gently touched my hand and said, “Thank you. I know most men are probably thinking that, but they don’t have the courage to come up and say it. Now I’m gonna go home and be all joyful because I got a complement. Thank you.”
I was reminded again of the girl who never got asked to the prom.
I know, shoulda, woulda, coulda doesn’t count, but I should’ve given her one these.
So what are you afraid of? But, more importantly, what are you going to do about it? Remember, what doesn’t kill you, only serves to make you stronger.
Writing this post has helped me overcome or lessen to a great degree, another one of my fears. That, if I exposed myself, my readers would think less of me. What do you think?
Feel free to share your challenges and what you’re doing to overcome them. Make it frequent, and soon you’ll be in a different habit.
Good to have you as a reader here my friend.
