A couple of weeks ago, I wrote an article about the fear of success, because I felt that the fear of success was more dominant in my life than fear of failure.
So obviously, I had to ask myself, “What am I really afraid of? What would happen if I was to succeed?”
This forced me to define what success meant to me, and what would my life be like if I was successful.
Defining what success means to me did two things for me. First, it clarified the major dreams I have, and it gave me a definite direction in which to move.
Second, it brought to the forefront, the fears and the insurmountable obstacles that have kept me from achieving those dreams.
Having the fears and the obstacles exposed in this manner enabled me to face my fears and analyze them, and take a closer look at the obstacles.
What I found was very unexpected and I was pleasantly surprised. What I found was that the insurmountable obstacles were nothing more than the figments of my imagination and excuses for self sabotage.
As for the fear, well, it turned out to be my greatest ally. You see, there is someone in my life, who is very good at manipulating, and they had me believing that I was a loser and will never amount to much in life.
As I faced my fear of success and turned it into my greatest ally, I had to go through a lot of soul searching and getting real.
What I found out, once I was willing to accept it, was that I had abdicated ALL my responsibilities in life to this master manipulator, and I was allowing them to guide me into failure. Again and again.
When I realized this, I made a commitment to being responsible for ALL my actions. And to break the cycle of manipulation, I adopted the phrase, “yeah, whatever…” and it worked like a charm.
Slowly but surely the spell was broken, and I finally had the courage to break free. This person is still in my life, but their magic doesn’t work on me anymore. I see all the buttons clearly as they get pushed, but the circuitry behind them has been rendered useless.
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Have you defined what success means to you? If you have, then you know that you are on the right path. But if you don’t have a crystal clear definition of what success means to you, then I urge you to get naked and come out clean. It is the best thing you’ll ever do for yourself.
Here is My Definition of Success
1. Pay off ALL my debts, personal and private, in full.
2. Live and work from wherever I want, doing whatever I want.
3. Travel to wherever, whenever, and however I want.
4. Practice my Faith regularly.
5. Help other people do the same.
I realize that in order to achieve the above, I would have to be rich. But, that is another post.
What is your definition of Success?
Share it in the comments below, or on your own blog (preferably with a link back). If not, at the least, I challenge you to do it for yourself.
I just wrote a post recently on how to develop persistence. One of the ways was to deal with people’s negativity. I believe in the power of “Mm, I see.”and “Uh huh.” If you reply to to naysayers, anal-retentives and any others you think are dragging you down with these, they should eventually get the message and leave you alone.
Like you said, fear can be your greatest ally if you learn to tame it. Thanks for this post.
Gordie Rogers´s last [post] ..How To Develop Persistence.
Nice post Rasheed. Dig out our email correspondence when we worked together. I checked mine and I think you may find some nuggets there. Glad all is going well. I think you are REALLY finding you
Success for me is to have money coming in on a regular basis and having enough of it to Bless others whenever I feel like it or am Guided to by the Holy Spirit. Being in Peace and Joy ALL the time even in times of Trial and being in Good Health the rest of my life so that I can Give Back to the Universe the LOVE it gives me EVERYDAY!
I know exactly how you feel Rasheed… I seem to attract manipulative people into my life all the time that want to keep me down or see me fail. It is sooo depressing for me to see that and to experience it! I adopted the same saying years ago and also the act of “Walking Away” from things and leaving everything for the other person. This was something I had to change as I was ALWAYS starting over with NOTHING except more experience under my belt and a SLAP IN THE FACE! I am learning to take a “Stand and therefore Stand” now.
I think the “Yeah… Whatever” has turned into “God give me Strength”. lol
@Gordie Thanks for your insights. In the end, it’s all about personal responsibility, no matter how you accomplish it.
@Croz I have been reviewing our conversations from last year and I can see now what you’ve been trying to tell me all along. Thanks for your mentoring. I am going to come back to you for more as I am going through a Quantum leap again. Hopefully this time it won’t take me a year to learn from your wisdom.
@Delores For me, it was the “God give me strength” that lead to the “yeah, whatever…”