I had an interesting conversation with a panhandler, at a restaurant where I was working as a balloon artist, the other night. I’ll tell you about it, but first let me ask you a question.
What does work mean to you? How do you define working?
Last Friday night, I went to the local Wal-Mart with my children. As we got out of the car, we were approached by a woman, with some roses in her hand.
She told us that she was a single mother who had just lost her job and was trying to support her family, and if we could help her. I gave her three dollars, a more than fair value for a single rose, in my mind.
I expected her to give me a rose and thank us for helping her out. But she did neither. So I extended my hand as if to accept the rose from her. Instead of giving me a rose, she said, “Oh, the rose is five dollars.” I told her that I gave her what I felt was a fair value and expected a rose in return.
Instead of giving me a rose or my money back, she clutches tighter to her roses and pulls them closer to her body, turns to my childrenand says, “Are you sure you guys don’t want to put in a dollar each?” I couldn’t believe the audacity, but I walked away in silence, leaving her with the money.
As we walked away, I could feel my children’s anger and the disapproval of my action. So I said, “Hey, at least she is trying to make a living instead of panhandling.”
My son says, “Yeah, but she is not providing any value. She wants five dollars for a rose in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart, when I can get one inside the store for two.” He had a point.
Her pretense was that she was working, but she was really panhandling, or worse, maybe even stealing by deceiving people.
What do you think?
Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Oh, and the conversation with the panhandler… I’ll write about it in the next post. It’s an interesting contrast.
Sounds like she has a little too much of Corporate America stuck in her head.
Cathy Elaine´s last [post] ..What Do I / Don’t I Want To Know?
Hey Cathy,
Thanks for the comment. Can you elaborate on what you mean by that?
I am going to have to go with sticking it to you. That is too much for a rose. Terrible, she might as well just ask you to spare some change than to pretend that she is selling something. Just my two cents worth.
Dave and Deb´s last [post] ..Big Week at the PlanetD
Thanks for your participation.
I was happy to help her out and that is why I didn’t ask how much the rose was, and neither did I insist that she give me the rose or my money back, because that was not my intent.
I understand completely. I always like to help out as well, but when they are misleading you it can be upsetting. Like I said, she would have been better off to ask for some money. I don’t know, people are pretty good at scamming lately.
Dave and Deb´s last [post] ..Nicaragua A First Time Volunteer Experience
Perhaps your Rose-lady needed the illusion of ‘work’ to save her self-esteem. Perhaps she was just out to screw you. You will never know, and I feel your life is made better by believing the former rather than the latter.
If she was a thief, she will get the result due such behaviour. If she was on the skids, she will sooner make her life better by starting from a positive position than a negative one. If she sees herself as a victim, she is stuck there. She will more likely progress to a better life if she believes she was working that day.
The fellow in the carpark who gave $3 could have started someone on a new path to success. Maybe not. It’s not for you to know. Would you not spend $3 in the hope that someone’s life is turned around? Seems like a small price for that possibility.
You did well. Tell your kids I said so!
Frederick,
Welcome to Present Day Nomads.
You are absolutely right about cause and effect taking care of itself. We reap what we sow.
I was happy to help her in my own way. The reason I made this post was because I was irritated by her ungrateful behavior and her asking my children to give her more money when I had relinquished my assumption of getting a rose in return. She had the $3.00 free and clear.
Maybe she was not a good business person and bought the roses for three dollars each and was reluctant accept charity or to just break even by giving away the rose. I don’t know, and I’ll never know.
My philosophy is simple. I give because I am grateful for what I have, and it makes me feel good. What they do with the money is none of my business. Everyone reaps what they sow and I am happy having sown a seed of happiness.
Thanks for your participation.
We need to get together for a coffee or lunch and catch up with each other. Call me.
Rasheed
Well, it seems the mere act of asking for more money than something is worth doesn’t negate the work involved. I mean, I buy a soda from a machine it costs me 75 cents, maybe a dollar tops. I buy one from the movie theater and it costs me $5.00. It’s all about the context I guess. But I suppose she is working by walking around selling something, I’d just say it wasn’t very productive work.
Japhy´s last [post] ..Things That Shaped Me
HI Japhy,
I agree that the price of any given item is not fixed, but it is determined by supply and demand. At the movie theater there is a high demand for soda’s and popcorn and there is only ONE supplier. They can get away with whatever they want to charge, as long as people are buying, and at the prices they charge, they don’t need to sell very many to be at a break even point.
I was willing to pay three bucks for the rose, to help her out, even though I was not looking to BUY one, but I was not willing to pay five for it. I let her keep the three bucks I was willing to spend to help her.
Rasheed
When I put myself in your shoes I find myself wanting or expecting the lady to smile and say thank you after I hand her the $3. That coupled with her not handing the rose over and asking for more money is sad and disappointing. I think like you I would have let it go and not said anything else. You did a good deed and I think you can leave it at that. Thankfully you had the money to give to her. Otherwise maybe she’d go to sleep hungry. I think you did the right thing.
Thanks for the support, Kevin
Rasheed Hooda´s last [post] ..What Does Work Mean to You?